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Soccer Moses

Wander The Desert In Style

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About

And it came to pass that the city of Nashville was awarded a soccer team. And lo, on the day of its arrival, a man of the people clothed in the finest robes and adorned in the finest wig and beard that could be delivered by the online delivery service of the time, appeared where two or three or 59,069 were gathered and sent a message to the world. A simple declaration to be heard by the masses: 

“Let my people goal.”

And the people rejoiced over the offering. And they took pictures with the man. Which begat tweets. And a TV producer looked upon the man’s message with favor and displayed the man and his message to all watching. And this message of salvation spread like wildfire all through the region.  And sports announcers dubbed the man “Soccer Moses”.  And thus a legend was born.

Some time later, it came to pass that Soccer Moses was handed a guitar, and asked to play a riff that would inspire the players to glory.  And verily, he did inspire them to score in 68 seconds. Moreover, word of the riff echoed around the globe, making multitudes aware of the man’s unifying message, from England to Australia.  And thus he was voted as Best Religious Leader (and second best sports mascot) by the people of the region in the Nashville Scene’s Best of Nashville 2021 poll, and the people did rejoice, lifting their voices together and saying “Let My People Goal”.